Her looks and hugs when she is afraid, her smile when she is happy, her expression when she is shy or sad or hurt, the gleam in her eyes when she is about to do something naughty, her laughter when something funny occurs - It is all worth a fortune and hope I will remember all these even when she grows up...

The way she holds my hand when she goes to sleep, the way she looks at me when she is hurt -thinking that my words and hugs will heal her, the way she holds me tight when she is afraid thinking that I will protect her from every evil in the world - the way my heart feels in those moments is something that I cannot describe in words..

The pride and joy that i get when I see her solve a puzzle, learn something new, dance, sing etc., Now I can understand that tamil proverb 'kakaikku than kunju pon kunju'(loosely translated - even for a crow its child is the best in the world). Hope I just encourage her to do things that interest her and not push her to something because it interests me.

My daughter.. she is the best in the world. I love you Kim. Thank you god!

Very emotional day today. After so much of thinking, I made this trip with my brother in the morning to attend a wedding. Had to really push myself so hard as I had hundred reasons not to do it - like it is in the middle of the week, have to wake up really early in the morning (at 2 am) as it is an early muhurtam etc., etc., But my heart was telling me that I somehow should make it and at the end, I am glad I did it!

This is a wedding of the daughter of a family friend. We stayed in their house for rent from when I was a few months baby till I became 8. And even when we moved to other houses in the same town and finally to our own one, the relationship continued. The uncles and aunts got married and they had their kids and we all grew up together and as friends. Once i went off to study and then to work, it kind of has been a diluted relationship (and there were tiffs between elders on numerous things and they kind of agreed to disagree and parted) atleast from my side. We used to meet rarely, but used to get updates from parents and other common friends about the happenings and whereabouts.

I was touched by the number of people who love me unconditionally and I was feeling bad that I have not taken too many minutes in my life to tell them that I remember them and I cherish all the memories. There is this aunt who used to feed me and play with me and keep my engaged and consider me as her eldest daughter - I realised that I've not seen her in 16 years!!! She actually fed me today also :) Likewise, there were so many - I was really feeling heady after talking to all of them. They all were really really HAPPY to see us after so long. And I'm happy that I listened to my heart!

Going to try being off facebook, google chat and other chats for a month. Feel that it is complete addiction and am wasting my precious time waiting for something to happen. May be as my colleague says that we are not built to scale up to handle all the intervention that they bring in.
Hope that will give me time to put down my thoughts here more frequently. :)

When there is a problem, there are three things one can do - 1. think of the problem and start sulking that it has happened to me, why only to me, why others are happy and I got this problem etc., etc., 2. think of what would solve this problem 3. Just ignore the problem and let your life go on thinking that such a problem doesnot exist.

#1: I feel that this thinking makes you get depressed, disappointed and create more problems for yourself. So it is a viscious cycle. You are never going to be happy.
#2: Solution oriented. Anything in life works fantastically if you start thinking about the solution. Sure way of being happy.
#3: Escapism. You think you are happy but you never are and never will be.

There is only one life and why should you waste it being unhappy? Live it and Be Happy!

It is my third day in Beijing. Just back from my lunch. Temperature outside is -11. It is quite windy. By the time we reached the restaurant my face was numb.As usual, lunch is a veg pizza. Options are eiether a veg sandwich or a veg pizza. Am switching between these two for the last three days. One of my collegues mentioned that we get veg options in the food court that is close by. Need to check that out tomorrow.
Landed in Beijing on Sunday evening for conducting a training about the product that am working on. My colleague and I had read all about the freezing temperature and the snow the previous week, but was not prepared for anything that hit us when we stepped out of the plane. IT WAS FREEZING. I was glad to have carried the extra jacket that I found at the last minute.
Most of us who have come for the training are staying the hotel Crown plaza wuzhou.This is very close to the 'Birds Nest'.
When you step out of the hotel, if you have any hopes about people understanding English, pls. forget it! You can be speaking greek or tamil, they are NOT going understand any word you say. Some of my collegues were so surprised, but for me, I had that shock when I went to Korea, so was not surprised when that happened to us.We went to Dominos for dinner, we spent 15 minutes in various ways (sentences, words, gestures) to convey - that we want something vegetarian, and whether we can order after we sit, and make two separate bills. After sometime, we figured out only gestures work. At one point one of my colleague gave away his receipt to get what he ordered and then to get the receipt back, all three of us were doing everything short of dancing :). But I must say that those people were trying to figure out what we wanted,brought spoons, tabasco sauce, fork, tissues and what not.. Finally I went and took the receipt from their table and they understood ;)
post continued after I came back to India :)...
Going to the training center and coming back was an experience in itself. We got the destination written down in Chinese by the hotel front desk staff and give that to the taxi driver. Same method works to get back. Lucky that some days we were traveling with people who can speak Mandarin and they could explain where we need to get to. Every day, the route taken to reach there used to be different. When you are getting down, asking for a receipt again is another thing altogether.One evening me and another collegue of mine went to the silk market (supposed to get fakes of any branded stuff in the world and you need to bargain like crazy!. Managed to buy an external harddisk, couple of watches, toys and an overcoat. This is the one of the few times I've bargained in my life and also bought things at the price that I thought was the best bargain!!!) and when we got down, paid and asked the driver for receipt.He thought we were bargaining about how much we should pay. The last thing that you want when you are tired, hungry and sleepy is fight with someone who doesnot understand a word of what you are fighting for!!!!!! Man, that was hilarious and frustrating. Finally I pulled the receipt out of that billing machine and then he realised and started laughing. The receipt that I pulled out did not have anything printed was something that I realised only the next day...
And the sad part was that I got two fake 100 yuan notes from Bank of China atm. Am still left with them.
Managed to eat at couple of pure chinese places. Once with colleagues who could speak mandarin and they could get me a egg fried rice - after explaining to the staff that she is religiously vegetarian and she needs a 'no meat' dish. That was yummy after eating bread continously for more than a couple of days.Other time I went with the colleague who explored the food court and ordered seeing the pictures :). Turned out be the best meal that I had a Beijing. Boiled broccoli, carrots, see weed curry, rice and hot water to drink. Absolutely fantastic.
I had a free day on Friday. In the morning I went to visit Forbidden city alone. The taxi guy dropped me off between tianamen square and Forbidden city. Tried walking around a bit. It was an open place and it was too windy. I could not survive a 15 mt walk out there. Ditched it half way, went back to office. The plan was to go to great wall with two other collegues. Took a taxi who asked for 500 yuans to take us to Badaling, wait there for an hour and drop us back at the hotel. After reaching there, he was trying to tell us that we should pay some money and then go and settle the rest later. When we could not understand, he could call some translator through the car phone and could put us through to discuss the terms. Wow, we were quite impressed!
By the time we reached the entrance, my fingers and toes were frozen. It was crazy out there. Since it great wall is at a height, temperature was even lower and the wind was toooooo much. I really thought, we were stupid to have made that trip in that weather.We still managed to climb up a little and were brave to even click a few snaps and some showing our teeth.when we got back into the car, with the heater on, it took 45 minutes for the fingers and toes to thaw! And the thought of having walked up some part of great wall, one of the world wonders sinked in much later. Slowly we were feeling exhilarated!
Thinking about it now, I feel that I did the right thing by visiting the great wall as I dont know if I ever make a trip again to China.
In any case, when I came back from the great wall, I told myself the next time I step out the hotel, it will be to the airport to board the flight to India. I had had enough of the cold weather and all I wanted was to get back and exactly thats what I ended up doing.

one of the songs that can bring me back from any kind of sad, bad, irritated mood anytime....

Kurai onrum illai

Reissue/Renewal of passport before expiry date in Bangalore:

If you have a valid visa in the old passport, you have to apply in the regional passport office. It is better to apply before your passport expires as tatkal is not allowed if you apply after it does.

Steps are very simple if you have all the proofs required.

Take an online appointment. This can be taken only between 9:30 am till 12:30 pm everyday for the next day. 150-180 tokens are given for a day. Follow the instructions for filling up the forms diligently.

While filling up the appointment letter, ensure that your name is filled up correctly. You can fill the full name 'fully' or fill up the first name and then fill up the surname in the next field. Other wise, you will have the surname repeated twice.

Similarly go through each and every field value properly before you submit. You can also correct those entries before paying at the last counter, but it is better to review it while applying to avoid any hassles.

Apart from the appointment letter (without this, you will not be let in), copy of first two and last two pages (include the ECNR stamping as well), application form, I had taken one copy of following documents along with original.

- BSNL bill for address proof.
- PAN Card
- Voters id - for checking if I can apply on tatkal
- Degree certificate

When you enter, you will be directed to counter #1 in the first floor for tagging. It is the righmost counter and you will always find a queue there. That person will check all the documents based on the type of application, staple it in order and will ask you fill up the form to be sent for police verification. I was asked to take another copy of all the documents. Photocopiers are available if you come out of the passport office, walk to your right for a few metres and cross the road. If the person at the tagging counter tells a correction, get back to the same counter after you correct, until it is given back to you with no comments.

Once tagging is done successfully, sit and wait for your turn in the next counter. Token numbers are called out and gets displayed in two or three places in the hall.

In this counter, all the originals are checked. If you want to apply in tatkal scheme, you need to inform the person at this counter and any corrections in the appointment letter also needs to be mentioned. If the application is in the normal scheme, i think you will be asked to pay the money in the next counter, and you will be done.

If it is tatkal, there is another person who checks everything once again, and you will be asked to meet the Assistant Passport Officer (APO) in room 11. She will tell you how much you need to pay and when your passport will be despatched. After that you will be sent to counter 8. When I went, the tatkal queue was longer - obviously as the time taken in tatkal is 3 days while the normal one takes 4-6 weeks!

Wait for your turn, pay the money, get the corrections done, and take the receipt that will have the file number.

Using the file number you can check the status online. If there are mistakes, even at that time, you have the option to correct the details as applicable. On the day stated by the APO, you will get your passport.

I had made a BIG mistake though it was just a letter change in the passport. When I filled up the online form, field capturing the Sex was having a default value of 'Male' and I had not changed it :(. So here goes how the correction needs to be done!

Correction in your passport:

For this also, fix an appointment. It is the same process, only in the 'type' you will select it as 'Misc services'. Check the faq for more details.

Fill up the form . Proofs differ based on the correction. Once the tagging was done, I was immediately sent to APO. I think it was mainly because that I applied in Tatkal and had got a correction to be done. APO sent me to the regional passport office who is in the second floor.

For my case, the seceratary called the correction officer. He had a chat with me to understand the correction, made me wait to get the original application, then gave me a slip saying that am supposed to come at 4 pm to the collection counter the next day.

I went there the next day and waited at the collection counter. There are no tokens/queue. You have to wait till your name is called. Names that were called first on that day were all those 'special' cases is my guess. None of the correction cases passport was with him . He then took the file numbers from our receipts/slips and went somewhere. Got a couple of them and distributed. It was like giving orders for hot samosa's and wait for it to be taken out of the pan to your plate... My turn came at 5:45 pm. I checked and rechecked and finally I had my passport! It is a reissue on the old application with this correction with no charges applied as it was in the tatkal scheme. Otherwise any mistake from the applicant side costs 500 Rs.

There was one corrected passport with entries smudged. That was re printed and given in a jiffy!

I hope the information is useful for people who are applying for passport. My first attempt through an agent costed me more than a years time when I gave up and tried and learnt the process myself and got the passport. I feel it is better you do it yourself as the process has been made much easier than it was before.