Old and the new....

My grandmom (maternal) who is 78 years old, reading about solar eclipse that happened on 26th Jan in my brothers laptop!

Year 2009 - we have a labrador pup at home from 30th Dec last year - 40 days old and has been named Zeta. Kimaya is out of town spending her holidays at her grandparents house. Am hoping that she will like Zeta and they both will become great friends...

Wish you all very happy, healthy, peaceful, prosperous new year 2009!

Terror attacks in Mumbai

Nov 26th : It seemed like any other night,Kim slept at 10:30 pm and Mallu was just loggin in to check his mails while we were chatting in general about our days - the first thing he saw was a blasts in Mumbai headline in rediff. We switched on the TV and everything changed from that minute! Till this minute, we have been trying to get minute by minute update on what is happening.

Am reading stuff, listening to those reporters, people who have got rescued, listen to those officials from all front - My heart is going through several kind of emotions - first and foremost -rage that we, as a country, did not have enough information to stop them while they had planned it so brilliantly and even had a recee, fear for the people who are still stuck there, tears for those who have got killed and for their families, salute for those who have been at the field from NSG, army, navy and the police force.

I dont understand how some fellow human beings are built in a such a way that they dont even have any remorse to use their own kinds as shields, kill people and create terror in minds and lives of people. Get trained and live and die like this! Why? What is that they have gone through or what is the kind of motivation will anyone have to get into situations like this? What is that they acheive? In the last two days, there have not been any demands made by these guys - what is their aim? I really really dont understand, but am amazed at the planning, execution with such precision and the resilience that they are showing. Why cant they do some thing constuctive?

While am writing this, atleast at Oberoi-Trident, situation is under control. Media has been doing (sometimes overdoing) their job. While am very happy to be kept updated by the media, when I read that these terrrorist have got satellite phones and their counterparts outside are updating them on the commondos position from what is seen on cable TVs, I did not want to hear more news! I just want those guys to be caught and the people rescued.

May god give mental strength to those who have lost their near and dear ones and I pray for those who have got injured to get well soon and get over this trauma.

What is about mom-in-laws and daughter-in-laws? There are different views and different scenarios - From whatever little I've seen in my family and friends circle, I believe no one is fundamentally bad to start with. I, being a DIL, I feel that it is all in your mind. If you really think that you want to make it work, then it will really work and you can enjoy a good amount of friendship/companionship with your MIL. (which is true in all kinds of situations!).

Couple of reasons why the DIL should want the relationship to work 1. We are the ones who are getting into a whole new situation, and hence we should make up our mind to adapt ourselves to the new family, new culture, new restrictions/freedom etc., etc., 2. MILs are atleast twenty-thirty years older and to break something that they have been following for somany more years is not very simple. Easier is for us to have an open mind.

First impression is the best. The moment you build the intial rapport with the small and simple things that you do, (ignoring the jibes or any angry words, if any, during the period), then they also welcome you with open arms. If this is not done, then it is the egos that fight and at the end neither of you are happy and dont forget that there is a man, who you both love the most, who is suffering a greater pain

While we have so many things to adjust, MILs also have to adjust to the fact their sons time/life is not shared by them alone. That is a big adjustment at that age. Again, they are not fundamentally bad - for some, it is the same kind of treatment that their MILs gave, they behaved as expected and hence want the new entrant in the house to behave!, for some, it is their nature, they want to rule the house because they have been doing so for so many years and cant tolerate any change, for some, even if they are ready to adjust, the DILs give them a miserable treatment, they turn hostile! And last but not the least, the friends and relatives who look for an oppurtunity to break the relationship a DIL and MIL share for their benefit.. Beware of those!

There may be some cases, where the fights/misunderstanding are situational - like you have had a bad day and a comment, which on normal days, either of you would have not taken seriously, will become a biiiiiiggggggggg issue. I am a strong believer that if you adjust a little and let them know that you are not going to change their relationship with their son or take away their importance in the family, everything is fine. And also, it is better to have a good fight or discuss things openly instead of keeping it all in your mind and create a disaster at home when u vent it out!

All said and done, it is a delicate relationship and so, handle it with care for your own happiness and your family's.

How does a kid get his/her values in life? As parents, what do we have to teach the kids? There are several opinions - some think that they have to teach all that they know and have learnt to their child, there are some who think that the kid should learn on its own as experience is the best teacher and there are some who are always confused about what to teach and what not to teach.

More often than not, I've always felt that it is my values which is being thrust upon my child as I react to things in a way that I know, I learnt and I like and sometimes others also like. Reason being, I know I've acquired only some of the qualities/values because of the up bringing. Others, which is a larger percentage, are what I've learnt through the mistakes I made or by observing others around me at various situations and considering what appeals to the mass or through the books I read. And I feel that schooling is also an important part as if a kid doesnot have a good teacher or good learning environment, there is no good values that is learnt by the kid.

One of my colleague was saying that every time he takes his kid along for shopping - even if it is grocery shopping - he ends up buying a toy for the kid. Reasons can be many but the most important thing is that he can afford it because of the software world where a more than decent salary is being paid.

I know that we dont hesitate too much to travel by air if there is a necessity and we are used to decent hotels, posh residence, domestic helps and two tier AC coaches. Till I joined work, I've never experienced any of those. But my daughter is experiencing what I would have , still consider as luxury at the age of 2. What would be the impression? What will she think if we have to travel by general or second class with people sleeping on the floor and seats dirtied with food etc., etc., What will she think if she goes to a place of a close relative who doesnot have a house with facilities that she has at home? will she ask embarassing questions like my colleagues son asked when they visited her sisters place which had only one toilet and he could not believe that everyone was sharing it?! Will she appreciate the taste of thattu kadai or will she look for star hotels where she can fine dine?

Questions, questions, questions which only time can answer.

I went to big bazaar in cosmos today. It was decently crowded and three of the counters were open for billing. After I picked my stuff, I went and stood in one of the queues.

At the next counter, I see this lady with a kid (in another cart) taking out all her items from the cart and keeping it for the guy to bill it. 5-10 mts he finished billing and her driver(I presume) comes with a cart full of vegetables - guys who joined that queue( as that was the shortest )realised that it is going to take some more time.

Then the real fun starts. She sees a couple of packets of rice flour/maida - and exclaims 'Oh, I dont want these - please cancel this'. The counter guy obliges. Then the driver produces a list (I presume once again - that it is the shopping list) - she reads out 'Oh that is dhaniya powder and turmeric' turns to the billing guy and asks ' was there turmeric in the items that you billed?' asks aloud 'Shall I take it and come?' then turns and sees some three four people standing behind her and decides 'Ok, leave that' Then she decided that she has to go through the items mentioned in the bill. Made the guy go to the start of the bill in his monitor and she started reading the item names and quantities loud enough for every body to hear.

People are watching with interest, but she is least bothered. Once all the checks are done, she took the bill. For payment - she started with 'Take this parking receipt' and then 'That coupon - you know that sugar coupon is there na' karke she started searching in her hand bag - another two minutes and searched everywhere in the bag ( I got reminded of one the mails about how do men and women withdraw cash from ATM), and finally produces that big bazaar offer of 1Kg sugar free and then pays for the rest.

Oooof this is the first time I see anyone like this in a super market! Anyways, I was thoroughly entertained and amused!

I had m