Terror attacks in Mumbai

Nov 26th : It seemed like any other night,Kim slept at 10:30 pm and Mallu was just loggin in to check his mails while we were chatting in general about our days - the first thing he saw was a blasts in Mumbai headline in rediff. We switched on the TV and everything changed from that minute! Till this minute, we have been trying to get minute by minute update on what is happening.

Am reading stuff, listening to those reporters, people who have got rescued, listen to those officials from all front - My heart is going through several kind of emotions - first and foremost -rage that we, as a country, did not have enough information to stop them while they had planned it so brilliantly and even had a recee, fear for the people who are still stuck there, tears for those who have got killed and for their families, salute for those who have been at the field from NSG, army, navy and the police force.

I dont understand how some fellow human beings are built in a such a way that they dont even have any remorse to use their own kinds as shields, kill people and create terror in minds and lives of people. Get trained and live and die like this! Why? What is that they have gone through or what is the kind of motivation will anyone have to get into situations like this? What is that they acheive? In the last two days, there have not been any demands made by these guys - what is their aim? I really really dont understand, but am amazed at the planning, execution with such precision and the resilience that they are showing. Why cant they do some thing constuctive?

While am writing this, atleast at Oberoi-Trident, situation is under control. Media has been doing (sometimes overdoing) their job. While am very happy to be kept updated by the media, when I read that these terrrorist have got satellite phones and their counterparts outside are updating them on the commondos position from what is seen on cable TVs, I did not want to hear more news! I just want those guys to be caught and the people rescued.

May god give mental strength to those who have lost their near and dear ones and I pray for those who have got injured to get well soon and get over this trauma.

What is about mom-in-laws and daughter-in-laws? There are different views and different scenarios - From whatever little I've seen in my family and friends circle, I believe no one is fundamentally bad to start with. I, being a DIL, I feel that it is all in your mind. If you really think that you want to make it work, then it will really work and you can enjoy a good amount of friendship/companionship with your MIL. (which is true in all kinds of situations!).

Couple of reasons why the DIL should want the relationship to work 1. We are the ones who are getting into a whole new situation, and hence we should make up our mind to adapt ourselves to the new family, new culture, new restrictions/freedom etc., etc., 2. MILs are atleast twenty-thirty years older and to break something that they have been following for somany more years is not very simple. Easier is for us to have an open mind.

First impression is the best. The moment you build the intial rapport with the small and simple things that you do, (ignoring the jibes or any angry words, if any, during the period), then they also welcome you with open arms. If this is not done, then it is the egos that fight and at the end neither of you are happy and dont forget that there is a man, who you both love the most, who is suffering a greater pain

While we have so many things to adjust, MILs also have to adjust to the fact their sons time/life is not shared by them alone. That is a big adjustment at that age. Again, they are not fundamentally bad - for some, it is the same kind of treatment that their MILs gave, they behaved as expected and hence want the new entrant in the house to behave!, for some, it is their nature, they want to rule the house because they have been doing so for so many years and cant tolerate any change, for some, even if they are ready to adjust, the DILs give them a miserable treatment, they turn hostile! And last but not the least, the friends and relatives who look for an oppurtunity to break the relationship a DIL and MIL share for their benefit.. Beware of those!

There may be some cases, where the fights/misunderstanding are situational - like you have had a bad day and a comment, which on normal days, either of you would have not taken seriously, will become a biiiiiiggggggggg issue. I am a strong believer that if you adjust a little and let them know that you are not going to change their relationship with their son or take away their importance in the family, everything is fine. And also, it is better to have a good fight or discuss things openly instead of keeping it all in your mind and create a disaster at home when u vent it out!

All said and done, it is a delicate relationship and so, handle it with care for your own happiness and your family's.

How does a kid get his/her values in life? As parents, what do we have to teach the kids? There are several opinions - some think that they have to teach all that they know and have learnt to their child, there are some who think that the kid should learn on its own as experience is the best teacher and there are some who are always confused about what to teach and what not to teach.

More often than not, I've always felt that it is my values which is being thrust upon my child as I react to things in a way that I know, I learnt and I like and sometimes others also like. Reason being, I know I've acquired only some of the qualities/values because of the up bringing. Others, which is a larger percentage, are what I've learnt through the mistakes I made or by observing others around me at various situations and considering what appeals to the mass or through the books I read. And I feel that schooling is also an important part as if a kid doesnot have a good teacher or good learning environment, there is no good values that is learnt by the kid.

One of my colleague was saying that every time he takes his kid along for shopping - even if it is grocery shopping - he ends up buying a toy for the kid. Reasons can be many but the most important thing is that he can afford it because of the software world where a more than decent salary is being paid.

I know that we dont hesitate too much to travel by air if there is a necessity and we are used to decent hotels, posh residence, domestic helps and two tier AC coaches. Till I joined work, I've never experienced any of those. But my daughter is experiencing what I would have , still consider as luxury at the age of 2. What would be the impression? What will she think if we have to travel by general or second class with people sleeping on the floor and seats dirtied with food etc., etc., What will she think if she goes to a place of a close relative who doesnot have a house with facilities that she has at home? will she ask embarassing questions like my colleagues son asked when they visited her sisters place which had only one toilet and he could not believe that everyone was sharing it?! Will she appreciate the taste of thattu kadai or will she look for star hotels where she can fine dine?

Questions, questions, questions which only time can answer.

I went to big bazaar in cosmos today. It was decently crowded and three of the counters were open for billing. After I picked my stuff, I went and stood in one of the queues.

At the next counter, I see this lady with a kid (in another cart) taking out all her items from the cart and keeping it for the guy to bill it. 5-10 mts he finished billing and her driver(I presume) comes with a cart full of vegetables - guys who joined that queue( as that was the shortest )realised that it is going to take some more time.

Then the real fun starts. She sees a couple of packets of rice flour/maida - and exclaims 'Oh, I dont want these - please cancel this'. The counter guy obliges. Then the driver produces a list (I presume once again - that it is the shopping list) - she reads out 'Oh that is dhaniya powder and turmeric' turns to the billing guy and asks ' was there turmeric in the items that you billed?' asks aloud 'Shall I take it and come?' then turns and sees some three four people standing behind her and decides 'Ok, leave that' Then she decided that she has to go through the items mentioned in the bill. Made the guy go to the start of the bill in his monitor and she started reading the item names and quantities loud enough for every body to hear.

People are watching with interest, but she is least bothered. Once all the checks are done, she took the bill. For payment - she started with 'Take this parking receipt' and then 'That coupon - you know that sugar coupon is there na' karke she started searching in her hand bag - another two minutes and searched everywhere in the bag ( I got reminded of one the mails about how do men and women withdraw cash from ATM), and finally produces that big bazaar offer of 1Kg sugar free and then pays for the rest.

Oooof this is the first time I see anyone like this in a super market! Anyways, I was thoroughly entertained and amused!

I had m

I've started another blog - this time on one of my favorite topic, cooking. May be I should say related to one of my favorite hobbies - eating :). Anyways, my mother has been writing down all the recipes she knows that is needed for day to day tamil brahmin cooking and I've started a blog with it. May be, in time, I will add my own creations. For now, I am keeping it simple. It is named ammascookbook.

People who have been reading my blog ( I dont know if there are too many!!), I welcome you to the world of some interesting recipes. Watch out the space. I promise that I will add a few every week.

Read this in a mail in the morning. Thanks Agnelo, for sending this.

"It's been 18 years since I joined Volvo, a Swedish company. Working for them has proven to be an interesting experience. Any project here takes 2 years to be finalized, even if the idea is simple and brilliant. It's a rule. Globalized processes have caused in us (all over the world) a general sense of searching for immediate results. We have come to possess a need to see immediate results. This contrasts greatly with the slow movements of the Swedish. They, on the other hand, debate, debate, debate, hold endless meetings and work with a slowdown scheme. At the end though, this always yields outstanding results. Said in another words:1. Sweden is about the size of San Pablo, a state in Brazil.2. Sweden has 2 million inhabitants.3. Stockholm, has 500,000 people.4. Volvo, Escania, Ericsson, Electrolux, Nokia and Absolut are some of its renowned companies. Volvo supplies the NASA. The first time I was in Sweden, one of my colleagues picked me up at the hotel every morning. It was September, cold and snowy. We would arrive early at the company and he would park far away from the entrance (2000 employees drive their cars to work). The first day, I didn't say anything, neither the second nor the third. One morning I asked, "Do you have a fixed parking space? I've noticed we park far from the entrance even when there are no other cars in the lot." To which he replied, "Since we're here early we'll have time to walk, and whoever gets in late will be in a hurry and need a place closer to the door. Don't you think?" Nowadays, there's a movement in Europe name Slow Food. This movement establishes that people should eat and drink slowly, with enough time to taste their food, spend time with the family, friends, without rushing. Slow Food is against its counterpart: the spirit of Fast Food and what it stands for as a lifestyle. Slow Food is the basis for a bigger movement called Slow Europe, as mentioned by Business Week. Basically, the movement questions the sense of "hurry" and "craziness" generated by globalization, fueled by the desire of "having in quantity" (life status) versus "having with quality" or the "quality of being". The French, even though they work 35 hours per week, are more productive than the Americans or British. The Germans have established 28.8 hour workweeks and have seen productivity driven up by 20%. This slow attitude has brought forth the US's attention, pupils of the fast and the "do it now!".This no-rush attitude doesn't represent doing less or having lower productivity. It means working and doing things with greater quality, productivity, perfection, with attention to detail and less stress. It means reestablishing family values, friends and leisure time. Taking the "now", present and concrete, versus the "global", undefined and anonymous. It means taking essential human values, the simplicity of living. It stands for a less coercive work environment, happier, lighter and more productive where people enjoy doing what they know best how to do. It's time to stop and think on how companies need to develop serious quality with no-rush that will increase productivity and the quality of products and services, without losing the essence of spirit. In the movie Scent of a Woman, there's a scene where Al Pacino asks a girl to dance and she replies, "I can't, my boyfriend will be here any minute now". To which Al responds, "A life is lived in an instant". Then they dance to a tango. Many of us live our lives running behind time, but we only reach it when we die of a heart attack or in a car accident rushing to be on time. Others are so anxious of living the future that they forget to live the present, which is the only time that truly exists. We all have equal time throughout the world. No one has more or less. The difference lies in what each one of us does with our time. We need to live each moment. As John Lennon said, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans". Congratulations for getting to the end of this message. There are many who would've stopped in the middle so as not to waste time in this "globalized" world."

I was reading biexplorers blog and I hit upon Tom kytes blog (the same asktom.com guy) where his latest entry is about how people always talk about their problem without explaining the background, details etc., and assume that who ever listens to/reads it will solve it for them. And some times they also shout /scream as the other person is not doing anything to resolve it (Doesn't it sound familiar!!!!), and I read this from his blog - 'Double double' - very intersting.. Read it and enjoy.

We know the 'andha kaala' stories like Ramayana and Mahabharata describes how Rama and Lakshmana, the gowravas and pandavas get into gurukul life and how their parents go to 'Sanyasa' life after making them the kings when they come out of gurukul and get married! So it is the kingdom for the children and sanyas/forest for the parents. Then, this was the well accepted norm and everyone followed it whole heartedly.

Life changed after that. After several thousand generations - NOW - history seems to be repeating itself. Kids go to residential schools may not the Doons, but never the less, it is residential schools (Gurukul?!). Parents work hard and meet kids now and then. Their parents are self-admitted/admitted into one of the old age homes (Sanyas?!) and in the process, I dont know who is happy!!!

The recent news I read told me that it is not something that I perceive, but this is what is happening. Houses are designed with 'His' and 'Hers' bedroom in order to let the man and wife have their rest and only visit each other when 'needed' - Hey is this not what was happening then? The king visiting the queen or one of the numerous wives he might have in the 'Andhapuram' when 'needed'?

See.. it is all happening and it is happening in India!

My birthday was celebrated in style. The only dampner was that Mallu was not around. Normally, I plan and I expect. This time since his travel was planned on 27th, I was so depressed that I did not plan for anything and there were no expectations in my mind. And every year, if it is a working day, I used to demand from everyone in office that they have to wish me as it is my birthday. This year I told myself - 'no such thing, you should behave like a grown up!'. Then it was full of surprises - starting from my collegemate (who seldom remembers my birthday), several people called me, mailed me, scrapped in orkut - I was really thrilled. The biggest one came in form of a celebration at office. We got an order which was WIP for a long time and hence 4 BIIIIGGGGG cakes were ordered to feed us all. When the cake was about to be cut, my boss announced that it is my birthday and I cut the choclate cake and as you would have guessed, almost everyone in the group wished me.

Moral of the story is that when you dont expect anything, whatever happens is extra and you will start feeling elated :)

It is all about TV ads today. My two cents on some of the good and bad ones. (Which implicitly means that I have become a couch potato and am unable to ignore the commercials as nowadays it is commercials which says - lets meet after a short programme break!) I will specifically talk about two ads, both by banks. The good one is the HSBC stuff - one where the daughter wants to wear the torn jeans and the mom comes and stitches it and for the same subject the green worm ad. Nicely conveyed message - different people have different needs...I feel that the HDFC one on similar lines for their savings account with Eggs is a copy!

The bad one is the HDFC personal loan one - it goes like this. The parents of the family is planning about a house interiors, and then the daughter and the son ask about their demands (Ofcourse all promised by the dad sometime or the other) and when the dad looks confused, HDFC says that he should get a personal loan to take care of their needs! I dont like the moral a bit to say the least. Am sure lots of kids are going to watch it and the parents are going to have a tough time... I believe in living comfortably with what you have and personal loans are only for emergency. This message, atleast for me was that personal loans are for living a kings life even though you can afford it! BAD.

Chennai Trip

Over the weekend, we drove down to Chennai in the year old Ford fiesta. Took the bangalore-chennai highway vira Hosur, Krishnagiri, Vellore. Roads are as good as (sometimes better) the bombay-pune expressway. Around 350 Kms, but did that in 5 hours with 30 mts break in between including the city drive times. Took a breakfast break at Hotel Tamilnadu, Krishnagiri - This has become the whole family's habit on any drive that crosses Krishnagiri. Food here is awesome.

While going, we started early at around 5:30 in the morning and did beat all the weekend traffic. Had a peaceful drive. Even I got to drive for 30-40 mts. There are four tolls - 25-35-45-30 rupees respectively for cars. After every toll, you can even find restrooms -well maintained ones. So far, I've always been forced to search for a decent hotel and have some snacks on such occasions. One big relief that you dont have to do that!

Coming back, we started in the afternoon at three and when we were out of Kathipara junction it was almost 4:15, and sun was hitting right on our face till sunset. Reached home by 8:30 with a Hotel tamilnadu break at around 6:15 in the evening at Krishnagiri. My advice is that never enter this hotel at this time of the day! While you are eating, you are eaten my mosquitoes. Such big and nasty ones and you are scratching all over yourself in no time.

The only problem in the whole drive is our country men/vehicles/herd of cows in the numerous towns and villages that you happen to pass by before you reach chennai. They dont realise the speed of the vehicle and happily cross at their own sweet pace. They even drive as if they are in US - all in the wrong side! They dont care a damn about their lives. Real scary as if you hit them, you are the one who will be repenting your whole life if something happens to them.

Anyways, that doesnot bother you too much as there is lots of good if you leave this out. Enjoy the drive.

Today is one of those bad days - Mostly because of the lack of proper sleep combined with anitbiotics. Added to that is couple of problems from unexpected fronts at office and I was really in a foul mood and sleepy when I entered home. After half an hour of trying to get Kimaya understand what I say, I was fed up.

Then there was Andrum Indrum Endrum programme that was being aired in Vijay TV. This is a concert by Ilayaraja with all the leading singers. What beautiful compositions - After I heard a couple of songs, I was slowly getting back to normalcy. Then I was drowned in it.. Any day, any year, i guess, these will give me that kind of serenity that I would need!.

I think Vijay TV aired this program as two parts. I had heard the first set lonnnnnnnnggggggg back and now this. The only problem that I found in the whole programme was Ilayaraja's daughter singing Mayil pola - Oh, that was awfully out of tune and if a person like me who has a little knowledge about music can identify that, I dont know how these muscians on stage put up with that! Am sure that it was something that could have been avoided.

Nevertheless, the nice feeling after hearing those songs, did not leave for a while.. Long live Ilayaraja.

I had a post on Marlabs's announcement of their new BI head who is none other than my hubby and that was a proud moment for me. One more such moment happened in November end which is this article:
http://dqindia.ciol.com/content/industrymarket/focus/2007/107112704.asp.

This is an article on Business Intelligence in Dataquest's November edition.He has been quoted in 4 places in the article. Needless to say that am really really really SO proud about this.

Thanking God and my lucky stars :)

Am 4 days late in wishing everyone for the new year in the blog.. but better late than never.. So here is wishing all of you a very happy, healthy and prosperous new year 2008. Asusual, there were lots of mails wishing new year - all kinds of categories - beautiful, funny, sentimental etc., etc., The best new year mail that I got was this...Enjoy maadi...
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Hi Folks !

It’s that time of the year when I look back and want to thank all of my friends & relatives who have sent me emails this past year........

I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat shit in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it all to a sick girl (Penny Brown); who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $50,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

Or from the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants to split $7 million with me for pretending to be a long lost relative of a customer who died intestate.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena is going to grant every wish of mine.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

Thanks to some of you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

And thanks to your great advice, the other day, I couldn’t even pick up the Rs. 500/- I found dropped in the car park because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

If you have reached so far…then here’s wishing you and your family a very happy New Year and may all your
wishes come true…..without having to forward this email as a necessity!!

Have fun, write more original mails and send less of such forwarded mails in 2008!!

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