Thursday, May 07, 2009

A Girl has a different life before marriage - friends, family, hobbies etc., etc., From birth till she is married, she leads a different life.

When she get married, atleast in south India, she is strongly advised that she should adjust to everything at her in-laws place. She starts considering his family and friends as hers (dont know whether they think the same in most cases :)). When she is adjusting to all these, a few months, is gone without spending much time with her family and friends. Slowly months become years. First the parents push their children for marriage and then start with the gyan about why kids should be had at the right time etc., etc., and feel so happy and thrilled when they have one. (Again I dont know if the couple feels the same way). After that it is child, husband and the family. And then there is work also to add to the fun.

If it is love marriage, then the years that she has spent going around with the guy is again a period that eats up into the relationship that she would have had with friends. When things happen - marriage, kid, promotions - for a period till the novelty wears off, it is great life. Then suddenly the mid-life crisis starts - what is happening in life, why am I unable to connect with people I used to connect earlier, Is this kind of living the purpose of my life, always stressed and irritated etc., etc., There are some who kind of find the threads back and start living happily. There are some who divert themselves into something more constructive and learn to live the new life. There are some who become unhappy and create a unhappy family.

Some suggestions:

Keep in touch with your friends. Find new friends whom you can relate to and share your thoughts.
Re-kindle the love for the hobbies that you had - be it music, movies, singing, dancing whatever
Take care of your health, eat healthy, do some exercise regularly. If that fails, it adds to the frustration
Control your temper. There are times when a small mole becomes a mountain without anyones interference because of the words used to hurt the other party. It is better it is avoided.

Finally, it is easy to be happy. Just take a few baby steps with out getting into why-should-I-do- why-cant-he-do-the-same game.

After writing this, I did a google search and this is what I found about mid-life crisis!!!!

2 comments:

Rajesh said...

Hi Vidhya

It was nice post and the suggestions were much thoughtful.

Shafi said...

i must think